I feel pretty!

A recent conversation with my 6-year-old sparked this one.  The end is good and that is that she understands that “I feel pretty” has a bigger meaning than just those three words.  I’ll narrate how we got there though.

Pretty in our fighter braids.

I know, I know!!!  This conversation already ugh.  It still sits a little heavy when I think about what’s to come later in the tween and teen years, but I always say, we can only do our best as parents.  Teach right from wrong.  Instill good values, morals and lead by example.  Consistently teach acceptance of all and discrimination of none regardless of colour, shape, size, gender or creed.  Doing all of that while making sure they still have their own opinion and personalities as you don’t want them to lose that fearless approach, that raw honesty, that wonder and awe at all things bright and beautiful.  Talk about balance!  You feel me?

This past Thanksgiving.

So here is how it went:

A:  Mama, how come I don’t wear dresses to school every day.  Lucy only wears dresses.

Me:  You could, we pick clothes out together every night so it’s up to you.

A:  Well, Lucy says some girls like to feel or be pretty and others don’t, and all the prettiness comes from wearing dresses every day.  She says she’s pretty all the time and others not all the time.

Me: (Biting my tongue.  Hit pause in the brain and on the lips while she carried on for a few more seconds before I respond.  I didn’t want to make a big deal about her bff’s comments so as not to come across that it’s the most important thing).  That’s cool.  We should respect and accept how our friends feel right?  Tell mama though, what do you think?

A:  I told her I feel pretty anyway.  Like in pants, tights and dresses and it doesn’t really matter what you do, you can feel pretty however you look.  It doesn’t matter.

Me:  (I pause again.  This time exhaling a little and smiling inside.  Yes, she hears me!!)  There are so many more things to be and feel you know.  Strong, smart, fast, brave and most of all, we also have to be “pretty” on the inside, right?  Do you know what that means?

Mad skills!

I can tell on her face that she understood, and I explained in the simplest words I could form as I didn’t want to make too big of a deal or make it sound like a lecture.  I mean, I want her to feel that she come to me with everything and anything.

She ends with telling me in her own words that “pretty” on the inside means being kind and good all the time, not just some of the time.  You to listen to your parents and your teachers and I tell her awesome.  That is exactly it.  She also goes on and adds that the girls she sees on TV – now not the type you’re thinking of!  The fierce and strong women in American Ninja Warrior and the superhero shows she watches where there are female characters.  She mentions me and the girls she sees boxing at the club and in shows she’s been to.  She doesn’t just think all of us are pretty (without dresses) she also thinks we’re cool and that’s way better she says.  (Mama is mush at this point).  She ends with how when she’s going to be on American Ninja Warrior she’s going to win it and wear a skirt doing so.  So yeah, she’s gonna be ok and so will I.

No caption needed.

While this conversation was happening, it takes me way back.  I hated dresses coming out of the womb I think and while I will wear them from time to time, it’s out of my comfort zone.  Always been.  Did I ever feel pretty – in or out of them – no, I don’t think so.  I didn’t really ever care about the latest fashion or trend either.  My self-confidence only kicked in very late in life so anything to hide and cover up to have the least amount of focus on me was my MO growing up.

I do know that from a young age I always wanted to feel fearless and brave and show that I could do everything a boy could.  I kinda still do and frankly, I feel most beautiful inside that squared circle accomplishing things that historically was a man’s world (not anymore though thankfully).  I feel most beautiful when I’m training and seeing what my body can do and how far I can push it.  Yeah, I guess I feel beautiful when I’m still going and pushing and youngins around are heaving and huffing and puffing hehe.  I feel most beautiful being able to juggle it all, being given the body and mind to bring all the puzzle pieces together.

I feel most beautiful when I’m with my little family making memories.

So yeah, I feel pretty all the time and it has nothing to with wearing a dress.

My first Mother’s Day and first 10km race back in 2014. Oh I glowed that day!