Dare to do you!

Each time I think I’ve got this “do you” bit, I realize that I have just scratched the surface.  Being me, doing me and accepting me.  While I strive to do so daily, I’ve come to realize that that there is more coming.

2015: I still feel most beautiful inside the squared circle.

As I continue to grow and as I get to know myself, I realize my reactions and opinions evolve as well.  Things that seemed important or situations that would rattle me for whatever reason have become irrelevant after a while but it’s all part of growing and learning – in my opinion.

It’s not about turning into a cold hearted, emotionless human but it’s living your life, your way and on your terms.  It’s about not needing validation from anyone because you’re not doing what you do for them, but you’re doing it for you first and foremost.   I read a quote recently that really resonated:  “Fill your cup first so the rest of the world can benefit from the overflow”.  I think as women we were traditionally taught, or we learnt from others that everyone else came first but that said, it’s never too late to change that narrative.

I love taking care of my little tribe in every way and I am good at it, not perfect but very good!  What’s kept me sane, motivated, disciplined and simply energized to keep going is that I love them deeply and in the same breathe, I’ve also learnt (more so since becoming a mom) that I need to do me in order to be able to do right by them.

Tribe!

All of the above said, the day to day hustle and grind can make us lose sight of it all and I’m no stranger to that.  Only in the last few years have I learnt to walk away.  I say learnt because by nature I NEVER back down.  I look back and laugh at all the time and energy I wasted in the past on people and situations that were out of my control!  HA!  I laugh but it comes with experience and maturity.  Taking the high road because it wasn’t worth my time or energy, is probably one of the most liberating feelings I’ve experienced.  I don’t always get it right but a work in progress none the less!

I’ve always been a little rough around the edges and I’m not for everyone and that’s ok.  I have “a face” as so many people put it but it’s mine and it’s also not for everyone, and that is ok!  I still struggle with body image issues – less in the last few years but those moments of insecurity still rise from time to time.  That is 110% ok as long as it doesn’t define or consume me.

The face lol. That was a fun night!

Sports has helped me accept and own every piece of me.  Growing up I tried everything for fun but, wasn’t good at anything in particular.  Let me rephrase, there wasn’t anything that I really wanted to do or was super passionate about.  I played a little soccer and netball here and there but to no significant point.  What I do have, that I didn’t know back then, is the will to succeed and the discipline to do so.  Proven track record.  In the last six years I have achieved and maintained every goal I set my mind to, both in and out the ring and I’m not done yet.

When I started it was to lose the extra 35-40lbs I was carrying around.  To my surprise and delight, the journey taught me so much more than just dieting.  I embraced all the changes along the way as I got to know what I liked and what I no longer had room for.  I turned what I thought would be a weight loss journey into a lifestyle which I chose to live – for me first and foremost and, being a mom to a young girl has only fueled my passion to preach and live self-acceptance and self-expression.  Ya’ll know I’m all about female empowerment but it starts with me and even in my own moments of insecurity, I must live my truth and I work double time to say and think positive thoughts.  She’s watching.  They’re always watching and learning!

In turn, we learn from them.  Quick side and true story:  I gave the mini a blowout earlier this summer and I also let her wear it down for camp the next day – yup, it’s humid in Toronto during the summer.  At drop off the reactions are all positive and she’s owning it.   I pull up after school and let me tell you, I spot my girl from a distance.  Yup, the hair was now big and I start having flashbacks of my own childhood when frizz and big hair was bad.  When you got laughed at for not having good or straight hair.  My first instinct was to rush over there and tie it or braid it and thinking she must have gotten laughed at all day.  In my mind, I had to go save her BUT that was short lived.  She came running to me and with the biggest smile said, “mummy look, my hair was down all day and it still looks beautiful”.  That was all that mattered – girl was being her and owning all of it!  At age seven she reminded mama to practice what she preaches!

Kids program at Kingsway Boxing Club

I’ve been writing this piece for a while but couldn’t quite get to the point or find a hook without getting too deep or morbid, but it is an important topic.  We all struggle with insecurities, whatever they may be and being in a gym with so many teens and young adults, I look and learn from them a ton.  They’re a lot more accepting of themselves and of one another than I ever was at their age.  Comfortable in their own skin.  They’re not afraid to be who are they are and most of all I see and hear them talk to one another and like typical teens they tease, make fun but most of all they encourage and uplift one another.  I train with and coach some of them and learning comes in many forms and for me, it has come full circle in so many ways.

So, to summarize a piece that I need to post but still don’t think it’s anywhere near perfect enough:  I believe this topic will be a work in progress for many, including myself.  If we are open to continuous growth and development, we’ll always be changing so think of “perfect” in the now vs working to become so.

I’m not for everyone but I’m enough and I’m doing me, for me!