Ring Talk Episode 4:  Consistency

We’re back to the gym this week folks!  Ring talk!

Athletes, coaches and everyone in-between, COVID19 took something very dear to us all for a what seemed like an eternity!  Yes, we’ve been working, staying active and if you’re like me, maybe you took the opportunity to rest more and include some other disciplines – yoga, Zumba and a little meditation?  All great things but what kept me sane all this time was the consistency of the daily flow.

Consistency is the driver to seeing change.  I cannot overlook or pass by this topic so soon after my last post and more importantly during what is still happening today.  It would be wrong so, I want to say to all BIPOC and everyone who is learning and supporting the anti-racism movement, keep going!  We need to keep going to eventually see the changes we so desperately want.  There is a long way to go so before we become tired, frustrated or discouraged on the heavy journey, also remember to take regular breaks to refuel and stay strong.

Personal share here so past and future opponents enjoy – I always told myself I must work 3x harder than everyone else on my team to be considered as good as them – in the ring that is.  They have youth, most have brut but (I tell myself and like to think) my drive and heart comes from very deep down and that’s what I focus on.  This was and still is my own head game and it is what drives me.  I know that I have earned the respect from my peers, coaches, officials in the industry and many folks out of it, based on my work ethic…and being me.  This is part of growing, exercising and strengthening my mental toughness.

“The bigger key to this self-proclaimed strategy is being consistent.  You can’t work hard some of the time and expect great results all the time.”

Another personal share.  There was also something else I was doing consistently for a long time that gave me less than positive results.  I have been silent.  Silent for far too long and like many and brown people:

• silent when something didn’t sound right and made you go “mmmm” …and not in a good way
• silent when you thought someone in the room would have your back because you’ve become good work friends but, they looked away uncomfortably…. knowing…
• silent because as it takes you a minute to process a racial slur/micro-aggression but it’s too late to bring it up later because everyone else has already moved on

Add to the list, I am sure that’s just scratching the surface.

“I’ve remained silent and it drained me.”

Why would someone so confident, a self-proclaimed machine/badass and a generally loud girl be silent?  Simple – it was very important for me not to come across as “the angry black woman” or seen as having a chip on my shoulder so, I became very careful about how I responded in situations where I had to defend or fight for something I believed in.  In the end I just stayed silent, again. My tone, volume, attire, jewelry, make up and right down to body language – and if you know me, I didn’t always get the face and body language right but here I still stand.

I remember sitting in a Town Hall at work many years ago and a white female colleague in a loud whisper said from a couple of rows back, “Shireen, folks can’t see, move your hair”.  The comment was one thing but the laughter and giggles that followed stung harder and longer.  I was silent but I also live by “laugh at yourself before they laugh at you” so I giggled awkwardly too.  That wasn’t right either.   I would then start buying hair products that would weigh down the crazy curly hair that had a mind of its own most days, at least while I was at work.  That was just fucked up.

“The result of years of silence?  Years of exhaustion and not even knowing why!”

Back to the athlete in me.  My “why” or why I feel the need to consistently work so hard is simple.  I want to be the #1 ranked Master Class boxer in Canada and eventually, North America.  Big dreams huh, why not!  Now that I’ve put it out there, I believe it shall begin the manifestation process.  All the limitations/rules for the 40 and over age group aside, it is possible.  I feel it, I can see it and if you’re with me, come along for the ride.  It will be epic!  How do I plan on getting there?  Hard work but more importantly, consistently working hard.  PS:  Master Class = Age 40 and up

Team Machine. Best Corner in the biz.

Earlier this year I made the decision to leave the corporate world.  It was THE best and most liberating decision I have ever made.  The decision did not stem from racially charged place but the adrenal fatigue and not quite feeling like I belonged, are just a couple of factors that did.  All the feelings were seeping its way into my family life, my health and my sport, so I drew the line in the sand.   My plan was to take the proper time to clear my head and then either choose my next step or create my own damn path.

“Between COVID19 and the racial pandemic we’re in I uncovered layers and years of buried experiences and feelings and I realized “why” I’ve been so damn tired!”

Since my last post I have received SO many beautiful messages of support.  To date it’s probably the rawest I’ve shared because it hit so different and so deep.  Our home conversations around race, our skin colour, daddy’s safety  and the world crisis have not stopped.  The lessons are short snippets most of the time.  I follow my daughter’s lead because she teaches me how to approach it at her level.  The conversations are happening organically and consistently.  She’s eight remember, so there is no warning when it comes.  Sometimes it’s short, sometimes it’s heavy and like the other day, just a statement, “can Justin Trudeau just tell people to support BLM mommy?”  So yeah, my heart bleeds for our young generation who to have so much to process but they need to, and we as parents need to as well.  This dialogue must keep going.

This Is Us.

My gosh, a life of silence and not just in the workplace.  At the movies with a white friend a trailer depicting slavery is on screen and she says loudly “geez, not another one!  It’s just too much!”  I think I reacted with “you know we’re black right AND we’re from Africa” but I mean, the shock in some of those moments hits you deep and it sits.  Many times, I wasn’t sure it really was about race but because I felt it in my gut, I knew it was and it festered.  That is the just the tip of the iceberg but the point?  It’s everywhere, not just in corporate boardrooms.

As I’m starting to get back to my social channels, I am very cognizant of not breezing past the real issues specifically the race issues we live with and that are currently so intense.  I had to take myself back to the objectives of why I started my blog/IG/YouTube channels.  In sharing my stories my hope was to inspire others and motivate both women and men to be their best selves.  It was about empowering and uplifting others and, being in my 40s, my message is still that it’s never too late to set and crush new goals OR make significant changes in your life.  So, as I struggled with creating content over the last few weeks, I realized that it’s not too late for me either.

“I found my voice (for lack of a better term) and from here on out it will be used.”

Now, do I think that ALL my experiences were a result of the colour of my skin?  Nope.  Do I not appreciate and recognize all the wins I’ve had over the years?  Absolutely!  I have my health, my family is well so am I not grateful?  Gratitude!!  Do I have control over my actions and reactions?  Yes!  This is not that story though.

The point here is that we need to be consistent in ALL we do to see growth, to see improvement and eventually see change.  And doing something consistently drives you to do more, it becomes infectious and will inspire others.  Speaking up only sometimes or training only on the days you feel like it is not ok.  We need to do it when it’s uncomfortable.  We need to do it when we don’t feel like.  We need to do it when it’s hard.  That’s when it counts.

And a reminder that consistently taking time to refuel and recharge is just as important.  Be it an extra day off from training, turning off social media for few days, meditate or dance like nobody is watching and then come back stronger with new vigor and purpose.  Everything is about doing it consistently.

In life, in business and the ring.

No gym but consistently working!