International Day of the girl child: 10.11.2020

My girl.

I celebrate her each day.  I am grateful and honoured to be her mom.  I asked for and prayed for a child and I received her.  Strength beyond measure.  Smarts and swagger that you can’t teach.  Beauty inside and out.  She is a proud girl and she makes us proud each day.  She is proof that we did and are doing something right in this world.

10.03.2013 – the day we met!

I ask you this:  “will this world do right by her?”

Her fears reflect the world we are currently living in.  The reality of the how of people who look like her are treated differently and the ongoing murders of men that look like her dad.  I believe that children learn what they live and as parents we can only do our best in the home but can’t control much of what goes on outside.  I certainly can’t and I won’t hide her or shelter her from what is real.  I beg you to differ but we can only protect so much.  My heart bleeds with each hard question that leaves her lips but at the same time I encourage her not to stop asking them – no matter how hard.

My job?  Simple.  Be honest in my responses.  If I want to do right by her despite of and in spite of the racial inequalities she witnesses, the answers need to be served straight up.  If I want to teach honesty and demonstrate to always speak her truth no matter how hard, it starts with me.

Unlike her, I discovered and started using my voice much later in life and back when I was just a girl, real world issues were not as much in my face as it is in hers today.  Or rather, I come from a place where these things were hidden from us and not talked about or taught in school.  We saw a very watered-down version of what really happens.  I was street smart before I was book smart, that’s for sure.  TV, social media and the news – not as accessible or didn’t exist.  I mean, I only used Google for the first time when I was twenty something.  My girl has been “asking Google” for at least two or three years now.  Point is that it’s here and all around us day in and day out.  We can’t hide from the harsh realities anymore and they will continue for a long time BUT we have the opportunity to make a difference by changing the narrative.

What exactly does that mean?

Start the real conversations by answering the hard questions honestly but also to keep them going.  Don’t let our lives, our lives that matter just fade because it’s no longer trending.  The saying is “charity begins at home” and in my humble opinion, so does how our kids see the world and that comment is regardless of the colour of your or my skin.

The first piece I wrote where I shared my girl’s concerns was back in May – click here to read.  It pained me to share her deepest fears but it was through my writing that I was able to deal with it.  Initially I wasn’t going to share it but I’m glad I did.  What pained me more was the silence of many.  Yes, it’s my most read blog on my site and many reached out to me but also many (whom I thought would) didn’t and that silence hurt even more.

Here is what I do know about my girl.  She’s strong and she’s smart.  She knows the difference between right and wrong.  She is surrounded by love and I’ve surrounded her with amazing role models both inside and outside of our family.  She’s had a strong female influence since birth and she looks up to and learns from each of us in different ways.  She knows what being a strong girl and a strong woman means and she has strong male role models she looks up to.  She’s compassionate, caring and respectful of people’s beliefs and opinions but she already knows that not everyone is or will be of hers.  Real world talk!

The theme of this year’s International Day of the Girl via the UN is “My Voice, Our Future” and it’s so fitting today.  Teaching and encouraging our daughters and young women to not only use their voices and speak their minds but to ensure that they know that they’re enough and can command a seat at any table.

But for now she’s still a girl.  A girl who will be prepared for whatever her journey is and may this world be ready!

Get ready world!