Fierce, Confident, Unstoppable, Beautiful: Make these feelings the norm!

More red lipstick please!  I want to wear it whenever I can.  In fact, I want to create more opportunities to whip it out.  There’s something about my Ruby Woo shade by M.A.C. cosmetics that makes me want to strut!  The belief that I can accomplish anything and make everything work.  I want to step up and show up like that each day I want to encourage everyone around me to do the same.  Push past what society deems as “normal” or “right”.  That, to me is brave, courageous and going against the grain.

Until very recently, my relationship with red lipstick has not always been the most comfortable.  Always required a little pep talk and usually coupled with a dress, heels and a party…which pre-covid was once in a while.  Once applied, it’s a MOOD and when I gave it more thought I realized that it’s the same feeling I get when I’ve just done something epic.  When I take on a new challenge, did something that scared the crap out of me, and 100% that same feeling after 3 rounds in the ring with friends and family cheering me on.  Extra fierce, beyond confident, unstoppable and last but not least, beautiful.  The biggest realization?  All that swagger only to surface once in a while?  Hell no!

This is a pic that encompasses my strength, resilience and beauty all in one place. It makes me feel good when I look at it and THAT is all that matters.

I’ve stayed away from new year’s resolutions over the years.  I don’t believe you need to wait for Monday, next month or a new year to start doing something for yourself but I do reflect, and I set goals.  I was giving 2021 some thought early January – while applying a coat of red lipstick and I thought, “I should feel this way ALL the time and it’s got nothing (but also everything) to do with applying a coat of red lipstick.”

Here’s the thing.

Do you only work on the days you feel like a boss?  Do you only train/workout on the days you feel like a badass?  No.  Challenges and setbacks can dampen our spirits.  We’re human.  We will ALWAYS be challenged but we do what’s needed anyway, am I right?  The degree and how we choose to approach it may vary and I’m saying, why not do it on purpose?  Why not create these new opportunities for ourselves?  Ones that make us uncomfortable and force us to step outside the lines sometimes.

These are the questions I started asking myself at the start of 2020 and at a time when I was in a low place, and had been for months.  I said, “*&^% it” and finally decided to take action.  I listed some big-ticket items that required some big ass balls.  I looked back at the list earlier this year and laughed to myself.  I did them or tried them anyway and honestly, not all were a home run, but I kept at it.

I remember the feeling when I checked the first item off for 2020.  I left an environment that was well, unhealthy.  Let’s just leave that one there.  It came with a great salary, bonuses, perks and great benefits.  I had nowhere to go and kept saying for months “I can’t leave” until I realized that I could.  I started saying “I got this”!  And, the feeling on that last day was the same as I described above, and I wasn’t wearing lipstick and nor did I have to.

All I did was change the way I spoke to myself and that, during a really shitty time.  I had to dig deep to get out but I did and will continue to push further and propel harder.  Turn all those dreams into realities and big or small, celebrate them all.  We all should do that.

We don’t have to be extreme to achieve greatness, but we need to be consistent and persistent.  Do the right things in small doses each day and keep doing them even during the moments you’re faced with adversity.  It will not always be easy.  In the last year we have all had to adjust, pivot and in some cases make big changes in our lives and then, just live our daily lives – kids, errands, schedules, activities, family crisis and issues, big life changes.  You get the picture.  For me, it was perimenopause – yup, if there was something that knocked the wind out me, there you go (and maybe a topic for another post).  All these are real and they suck!  They also need to be acknowledged and dealt with.  On the days you need to dig deeper or go slower, do that. Relax and refuel but it’s getting back up that counts.

One last thing!

Don’t lose sight of the goal(s).  There will be nay-sayers but think of those who you will inspire! You’ll be so busy pushing forward you won’t have time for the negativity and “noise”.  This is also where you’ll weed out who you want vs need in your life.  You will be shocked, surprised and even hurt but sometimes you have to let go so you can grow.  And it’s not a bad thing.

True story:  Last year I finally let go of a 10+ year friendship that hubby and I had with a couple.  I had been trying to hold on to that relationship for about a year until I realized that the feeling wasn’t mutual so, I let go.  I survived and I’m sure they did too.  Their season with us was over, that’s it.  Nobody owes you and vice versa.

The people who remain will push you to put on another coat of red lipstick.  They’re the ones who will believe in you even in moments that you don’t believe in yourself.  Truth! 

So, whether it’s red lipstick or sky-diving that gives you that extra thrill, go do that!

Just a random Tuesday or Wednesday! Lips: Ruby Woo, M.A.C.