No-one is coming to rescue you or fix you. That’s your job!

When you decide to make life changes whether big or small, remember, it is all you.  No-one is coming to rescue you or fix everything.  It’s all you.

Making life altering decisions takes balls and even if you look timid on the outside, when you decide to do something that’s going to likely piss off some people but benefit you (and in turn, the ones you love), it takes a different kind of brute and courage.  That thing on the inside, deep down in your gut, telling you it’s right – and maybe it has been telling you for a while, but you needed a minute to act – listen to it.  When you finally do it, it’s euphoria!  All the emotions into a moment and you say to yourself: “I did it”.

Catching up with friends for coffee dates, wine dates or coffee dates that turn into wine dates has been a thing of late.  In person and still some virtual due to geography but they really feed my soul.  As women we also uncover so much in catch up sessions am I right?  About life in general but also deeper stuff – relationships, kids, work and one that almost always comes up, just being women and how badass we really are.

On a recent coffee date – one that remained just coffee – this conversation I started with above came up yet again.  We talked about the last 18 months and how we’ve had to pivot and adjust, like most.  We talked about all the lessons learned and how the pandemic made everyone take a step back to look at the things that matter and, about who is really there for you in the end – you guessed it YOU!

I talked about leaving my last corporate job and went into a bit about WHY (which I don’t do with many many) and it took me back a bit because I realized for the first time that even though I lost a 13+ year friendship by walking away from it, I also gained so much and the biggest thing I gained, ME!  I realized that even though I knew a month into that job that it wasn’t the place for me, it was between pride and fear of not having anywhere to go, that I stayed for almost two years.  And then I did it!  And I’m still here, still thriving!  I made my own place(s) – and so can you.

We can talk, vent and share and as much as someone is listening but when they leave, or once that conversation is over, YOU have to decide to take action and follow through.  My coffee date, Mariela, put it so eloquently: “Babe, at the end of the day, you have to put your head down at night and go to sleep and you can do that at peace or not”.  Sidenote, she was also the one who told me to just do it long before I left the job, and even though knew it, I needed that minute.

Once you take the leap you’ll have your corner of support, and you should.  I do not know where I’d be without my family and my inner circle and no matter “how” they are there for you – it’s still YOU who needs to accept their help.  Yes, I said it.  Having the balls to make big moves is one thing but accepting help ESPECIALLY when you are an alpha female (**raises hand), it hits different.  When you’re always the helper, the caregiver, the strong one, the one who “will be ok”, the one people come to when they need to offload or vent – it takes strength and courage to ask for and accept help.

Accepting help or allowing loved ones to help is profound.  Letting people in, giving them the opportunity to finally do something for you but in turn, it does something for them as well.  So, a lesson learned is that giving is receiving no matter which end of it you think you’re on.

Let’s keep it real for a paragraph.  Not everyone will support you and that is a hard truth.  My advice – do not take it personally.  It’s not worth the headspace.  Put your energy somewhere productive and somewhere it will benefit you.  People have their own shit on the go and yes, some will openly let you know they don’t like what you’re doing.  Others may do it behind your back but guess what, it’s not about you.  It’s their shit.  In my experience, many of the people you think are going to support your decision or your hustle are not going to.  Choose your corner wisely – again, only YOU can choose!

Getting to my favourite here.  You can read all the self-help books, take all the personal development courses and post as many quotes as you can find BUT, if you’re not applying the learnings and teachings, then you are stuck.  You must act.  Take a step, a leap or even a jump but MOVE!  Everyone has dreams and goals but without a plan, without action and execution, you are not moving.  NEWSFLASH – You don’t have do to all the things and reach all your goals at once. Baby steps, small accomplishments and consistency will lead to success.  We are not on this earth to please everyone and most times, people have their own issues and insecurities.  Next time you think something is about you, think again.  Is it really?

I believe that I am here to be happy, live my best life and do it unapologetically.  While living, my mission is to share and consistently demonstrate that you can do anything you put your mind to.  If you can dream it and believe it, you sure as hell can achieve it.  I believe that strength equals beauty and that it looks different on everyone and if I can get that across person to person, one day at a time, I’m good.

Most importantly, I have a little girl who is always watching so it’s even more important for me to go to bed at night happy and at peace.

Old pic but nothing has changed 3 years later.