YOUR VIBE ATTRACTS YOUR TRIBE: CATCHPHRASE OR TRUTH?

I’m pretty sure you’ve all heard the phrase “your vibe attracts your tribe”?

Younger (much younger 😊) me used to have mixed thoughts about the phrase above because well yes, misery does always look for and attract the same company BUT what if you want to change but you’re still in that negative space?   How do you or would you attract the right people a.k.a. “tribe”?

I learnt early in life that it’s your mindset.  Once you change that, being your mind, or look at something from a different perspective, you can change the trajectory of your life.  For example, finding the opportunity in a setback vs giving up.

Listen, I love my alone time and need it more often these days, but this post is not about that part.  I want to talk more about finding a group of like-minded people on a path be it short or long-term and working together to push one another to the finish line.  I’ll share some personal examples to help translate.

And remember – “the tribe you party with is not necessarily the tribe you heal with” – I read this quote somewhere recently and felt it.  Including it here because well, this was also a learnt life experience for me.

For this piece I’m using the term “tribe” in the context of a social group.  Dictionary.com has a few versions but I like this one:

• a social division in a traditional society consisting of families or communities linked by social, economic, religious, or blood ties, with a common culture and dialect, typically having a recognized leader.

Let’s break it down:

1. A virtual half-marathon

In 2021 I ran my second half-marathon with a virtual group.  We were midst pandemic and our locations varied vastly in some in cases, so this worked.  One runner/coach posted that she was about to undertake this challenge and invited whoever wanted to join.  She would provide the training plan, share tips, and we’d be held accountable for completing each week of training.  It was also a means to be social without having contact and found out later that for the others it was the same.

First time around I trained solo, with a fairly decent training plan I thought.  I fought through the hard days mostly alone but had my husband to vent to.  I finished it in the time I aimed for and while it was hard i.e. the training, the aches and pains during training and after the race, I felt so accomplished!  Naturally, I thought doing it with a group would be even more amazing.

And it did not disappoint!  Here are the things made it an even better experience!

• A longer training plan – 12 weeks vs 8 while on my own
• A rigorous but realistic & achievable training plan. It included weekly hill sprints and strength training days (this was new to me, but I relished these days).
• A team/group/tribe who celebrated wins together and pushed through the hard moments together. For me it included an injury and having to rest a full week, and the trauma of a racially charged physical attack on my mom which left my family really shook!
• New friendships. Other than Coach Helene and maybe one other person in the group, I met a few new people who are simply awesome!

I finished my second half marathon, beat my last time by a few minutes and zero soreness the next day or days after!  Translation – I trained properly!

2. Your Health is Your Wealth

My initial inspiration for this piece came from a place of wellness!  A high school friend I reconnected with through social media got me into using Herbalife products since January this year and to say I’m hooked is an understatement.  My hormone struggles resulted in constant bloat and gut inflammation and that is what sold me to try the products.  I started with their sports line and then switched my protein for few months which left me feeling great.  I proceeded to try some of their other supplements, followed the coach’s formula based on my goals and the results have been great.  Not to mention easy to apply to my day-to-day and easy to maintain.

Our coach a.k.a. tribe leader runs a 10-day wellness challenge – and I use the term wellness because it’s an overall feel-good experience vs just a focus on weight-loss.  We’re usually a group 10+ people with varying health, fitness and wellness goals but we’re on a journey that’s not a race but a marathon.  It’s not a diet, it’s a lifestyle.    This group did not know how much I needed them during this challenge and frankly, neither did I.

I was off to a great start but halfway through I suffered a brutal lower back injury during a sparring session.  I’ll spare you the details, but big injuries can do a number on one mentally.  I’ve gone low during these times and sometimes into the most miserable and even dark places.  I’m pretty good at self-coaching and self-motivation but when you’re trying to stay positive and still have to mom, wife, daughter, coach etc – gawd!  D-R-A-I-N-I-N-G!!!  The human part of me just wants to curl up, eat comfort food and cry but the athlete and the persona that sticks to a challenge come what may, is always right there battling with guilt!  Ugh!

And PS – we know mommas can’t just “check-out” – fine, I guess we can but IYKYK.

This was my group.  This was my mental, healing tribe and I’ll tell you, my party tribe (if I still had that group in my life) would never understand the type of healing required here.  Other than Coach Colette, the group was none the wiser re my injury but my daily pick me up moments was seeing everyone stick to their plan.  Sharing workouts, recipes and motivational quotes and sometimes even that they are having a tough day.  THAT last part for me was the reminder that we never know what others are going through so while being kind to ourselves is key, a setback is not the be all end all.  I got through it, healed up and didn’t stray from the plan even on the hard days!

3. Building a Business!

Last one here 😊 – I’m really enjoying sharing these.  I wanted to finish last month strong in my MONAT business.  There is an incentive I’m currently partaking in and in August you qualified double which was/is huge.  My business group – wait nah, the group of awesome, like-minded boss bitches really help with that last push.  We were all trying to make it and so we were all pushing one another which was the fun part.  Each time someone qualified I could hear the virtual bells ringing and confetti exploding for them.  I wanted it too!  The competitor surfaced, not going to lie.

• I dug deep! They cheered!  I believed it was within reach and I executed the hell out it! 

Fam, I made it with hours to spare!  With my daughter and husband cheering me on at home and my group virtually, it was going to happen.  Period.  It was both motivating and exhilarating at the same time for everyone.  High fives at home + virtual celebrations = all the feels after a successful month.

This is a company I joined initially to get a bigger discount on my hair and skincare products but once I realized the opportunities for growth, I jumped all in.  Thank you to my friend Dawn for pushing me to take the jump!  I’ve met many amazing women who are all different stages in the business as well as their lives and get to learn from them.  Most of all, it’s FUN!

All this to say is that we all need human contact, interaction, and very importantly, support.  Be it one friend or a group working toward the same goals the help celebrate the little wins with you and push you through the lessons and of course, they keep you honest.  Be it a book club, sports team or business, you’re with a group excited about the same things.  You share a common goal and can motivate and uplift from that same goal-oriented place.  You share challenges and wins related to your game and you all push through.  It’s not only an accomplishment but a consistent form of motivation and continuous learning.

So while it is a catchy phrase or quote, it’s definitely a truth for me!