LOVE YOURSELF AND TELL YOURSELF SO!

To quote the one and only Ru Paul: “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love anyone else?”

We should love and be loved every single day of the year.  Know your person and love them the way they can receive it best or the way they know how to accept it.    My love language is action a.k.a. acts of service and certainly not things.  Show me, don’t tell me is 100% me and that is how I know how to receive the love of which I am worthy.  My husband can back that up 26 years later!  Bless him!

To be honest for a minute, it took me a long time to do the same for myself and do so consistently.  At times, it’s still a work in progress but I have come a long way in the last 10-15 years.  So, this ode (and I use the word loosely) is to me.  Celebrating myself and the ways I’ve shown myself love and respect over the years.  I hope that you, my dear readers, can pull something out of it to give to yourselves too.

HERE GOES!

Congratulations dear strong, fierce and beautiful woman.  You’ve learnt to walk away when you need to but can still stand firm for what you believe in.  Forgiving people who didn’t apologize is hard but here you are.  Making yesterday history and living in the present to embrace what’s to come tomorrow is not for everyone.  You are not everyone.  You preach “Fabing’s never quit” to your daughter and you show it through the way you live and now see it through the way she lives.  Saying “I can’t because…” is easy and you never take the easy route.  Most say “I’ve failed” but you say, “I’ve learnt”.  Girl, I am proud!

I’m proud of the way you’ve embraced all of you.  Even the parts that you still have trouble liking or loving sometimes.  Like just the other day when you were getting dressed and couldn’t find a nice thing to say to yourself while looking in the mirror.  I love how you took a step back and took a deep and long look and said nope, not today.  You turned it around with killer hair and make-up and genuinely loved what you saw.  You smiled inside and loved yourself a little more and not for what you saw on the outside but for the time you gave yourself to turn it around.  Small fries to those looking in from the outside, but big results inside.  Bravo!

I’m proud to see you stepping out of your comfort zone.  Applying multiple times to be a brand ambassador for a company who primarily makes underwear and bathing suits.  Girl, for someone who grew up with such a poor and distorted body image that was/is huge!  They accepted you and you were ecstatic, but the imposter syndrome came soon after.  You gave it a minute of airtime, but you remembered the goal which was to embrace all of you in an unfamiliar way.  Doing this says a lot about how far you’ve come.  Remember when you changed your mindset and learnt to embrace and love all the things your body can do vs just what you see?  Game changer, right?  Bravo!

I’m proud of how far you’ve come!  You were told once that had bigger balls than most men and you laughed it off.  BUT, remember that day you really felt it?  February 14, 2020, when you took your last walk out of the corporate building you worked in at the time.  The relief and the feeling of peace that overcame you but also one of the most empowering moments you could remember…and you’ve done some empowering shit.  It took balls to leave but you did it because you decided to choose YOU.  If that isn’t self-love, then I don’t know what is!  Bravo!

I’m proud of how you don’t stay down.  2023 gave you three amazing boxing bouts but the biggest battle was making THE hardest decision you’ve had to.  Walking away from an adoption because of so much you can’t say here.  A few pieces of you broke inside which no-one can help you pick up.  It was an internal fight but you’re a firm believer in things happening for a reason and before 2023 was out, you were asked to be his Godmother.  You believed and had faith that it wasn’t the end.  Bravo!

I’m proud of how you always try to improve yourself and your skills so that you can continue to help people through the sport of boxing.  The pride you felt last weekend coaching the group of women at Shape Your Life was overwhelming.  Watching them progress while learning a new sport and using the tools to take back to their day to day to help with healing their own trauma – WOW.  You had to suck back the emotion in the moment but made sure you released it verbally before they left.  To top it off, they shared with one another how well they thought everyone was progressing and witnessing the reactions from everyone was a moment!  “Women empowering women” and being part of that moment was the reward.  Bravo!

I’m proud of how you parent.  Motherhood came late for you, and it was not like everyone said, “you’ll know what to do when the time comes”.  You had to learn by making mistakes on your own.  You had no idea what you were doing and maybe some days you still don’t 😊.  The pressure that came with being responsible for another human and fear of being judged for potentially fucking up.  And you did – JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER PARENT OUT THERE – but you continued and continue to try!  I’ll say this for you though, the one thing you were 100% sure of during the tough moments is that all you needed was love and making sure you did your best.  Girl, looking at the human you’re still responsible for, be proud!  She’s a self-sufficient, smart, mature, polite, honest, fierce young lady who knows what she wants and knows that working hard will get her there.  Bravo!

Lastly, I’m proud that you recognize all you still need to work on in terms of growth and healing.  You’re not afraid to make mistakes and you’re brave enough to own them.  You don’t profess to be perfect, but everything you do feels like it’s THE most important one in the moment and people feel that.  It makes them feel good.  I’m proud of everything you bring and will bring to every table you sit at, and the tables you’re going to build in the future!

Your end goal is that there is no end and that is beautiful.  It requires a deep, deep sense of self-love and strength because growth and evolution are ongoing.  Your journey has not been linear and nor should it be.  How will you stop and celebrate the good parts, course correct when you need to or even divert and start down a new path?  Take the winding road!  It might take longer to get to the destination, but the journey is the beauty!

Much love to you and everyone reading.  Remember to stop and celebrate.  Clap for yourself often and love yourself every day!

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