The ink runs deep!

For someone who is known for taking the leap and figuring it out on the way down, getting inked is a long and very deep process for me and why not right?  It’s probably the most permanent thing you can do so yes, the ink runs deep indeed!  I’ve taken up to a year to do research, decide, kill the idea, pick again but most of all making sure the timing for getting it done is right.  Huh?

Timing is just that – timing.  I may obsess over what I’m going to do but by the time I do it, if I’m not feeling it, it’s just not getting done.  I remember going for an appointment about 2 years ago to finish up some work on my leg sleeve.  I had the whole 3 hours figured out and could visualize what the end would look like but, about that time, cancer hit my family again and until that morning, I was fine.  I was determined that this cruel disease would never get me down again.  It close to broke me and my spirit the time before that because of the sudden and unexpected death that came with it and I vowed that not anything (or anyone for that matter) would have that pleasure again.

So, I wake up on said day thinking the leg can wait.  I’m finally going to my “defeat is not an option” tattoo.  It needs to happen today.  I knew I’d get one at some point, knew where and what it would look like but, also knew it would happen then the time was right.  I walked into Red9ine Tattoo Company and I see my long-time tattoo artist, Jesse.  I start telling him about what we’re going to do and to my (and his) surprise I break down.  Damn – I mean really break down.  Borderline ugly cry.  Jesse is such a cool person and he just let me have the moment and he did a super meaningful piece for me.  We talked about life, death, family and friends and of course boxing and our favourite UFC fighters and fights as always.  That’s probably why we click.  Very memorable session.  Whatever needed to come out did and I was ready to be there for my family for what was just a shitty six months, but I remained strong and focused and hopefully some of that strength was passed along during that time.  I failed to mention that I was also in a training camp for an upcoming fight.  Of I was, why would it be easy right?  The timing was spot on.

Defeat Is Not An Option

So, 15 tattoos later (16 if you count the cover up) and counting. The last two done April and May 2018 respectively.  Not with my regular guy Jesse and ps.  I really felt like I was cheating on him but because he’s quite a sought-after guy with a long wait time I had to venture off.  This one is an important date – gotcha day – take a read, that had to get done.  Probably the happiest day for hubby and me.  Most surreal day for sure but we have created so many beautiful moments and memories since.  I’ve been meaning to do it since mini came home with us so now it’s there, finally. It was also my 2018 Mother’s Day gift to myself.

November 7, 2013

The latest is another beauty.  Same artist who did my gotcha day date tat.  I must give a shout out to Toronto Tattoo Company.  Excellent client service.  The date was a straightforward one but when someone (me) asks for a sunflower but please make it look badass, thank you.  Yeah, only me, and they delivered big time!  I also met another cool artist at Toronto Tattoo Company, Antreas.  New in Canada and just a dope soul.  We clicked right away!

The sunflower has many deep mythical and historical meanings.  The things that stand out for me is that it stands tall and faces the light and thrives in direct sunlight.  It perseveres, shines and glows no matter what, it has deep roots that can flourish in almost any terrain and that thick, strong stem that holds up the big, bright flower is what has made it my favourite flower for about 20+ years.  Not to mention doing all of that with an impeccable swagga is quite phenomenal.  Yes, we’re still talking about the flower but if we were given spirit flowers I think this would be mine!  Leading up to this I was in some harsh terrain if you will and came to the realization that I’m human, will get knocked down from time to time but getting back up is always the right answer.  Can’t touch this I say!

So why a post about getting inked?   My ink is a part of my life journey.  I’ve gotten each one at a time in my life where they meant something or had a symbolism.  I’m not the best at articulating feelings but some of the good and some life lessons are in a story somewhere in my body art.  I started my leg sleeve with a koi fish about nine years ago and the second piece that followed it about two years after was the koi dragon.  Back then I was dealing with medical issues.  I have hyperprolactinemia which is an overgrowth in the pituitary gland.  I was in and out of doctor visits, specialists, emerg rooms a couple of times because of the dizziness and side effect of some of the meds being prescribed to try.  Not a pleasant time to say the least and being so far away from family didn’t make it easy at all.  I was diagnosed at 26 back in South Africa shortly after getting married.  We were not getting pregnant which is what prompted me to check things out.  Folks, today I am so at peace and have accepted that this is so a very long time ago so no pity comments please, it’s not the intent here – but I am going somewhere with it.

Take a read here about the legendary story of the koi turning into a dragon but in short, mine depicts the koi moving upstream against harsh waters coming from the falls.  The koi persevered and when she came to the top of the falls she was turned into a beautiful koi dragon as a reward for her hard work and for not ever giving up.  Point is I always knew there was something waiting for me and only after years she came.  I always believed we had to go through what we did, get though it together, accept it and be ok with it and then, only then did the reward come.  And even then, it wasn’t an easy road but, our adoption story end to end was about 18 months which is not long at all. Now there’s a story about timing for you!

I’ve been asked if my tattoos make me feel badass, strong, fierce and so on.  No, they don’t.  They are in fact a piece of my soft, vulnerable and deep, very deep side.