Like a girl – what does it mean?

Do “it” like a girl has become so popular.  I’ve been asked many times what it means, and my response is always “in general” or “to me personally”?  I like the latter because if people don’t get the former then, well, they probably never will.

It’s hard not to look around and wonder where the advocates were when I was growing up – the strong athletes, body positive advocates, the girl bosses, the proud divas and I’ve realized that they were always there.  The missing part is that the internet wasn’t as prevalent, and we didn’t have many or any social media platforms.  The common theme I see, and I would like to include myself in there at this time – is that we’re doing us and we’re doing it without reservation, explanation or apology.  We do what we do because we love it and our hustle to succeed comes from deep, deep inside.  Most of all, we’re consistent, passionate and strive to do and be better every day.  We cheer on our fellow warrior goddesses.  We are all superheroes.  We are also human, so we should, we don’t always, but we should tap ourselves on the shoulder and say hey, you can take a break, rest and recoup and tomorrow, continue with your badassery!

I brought my 6-year-old daughter to watch me fight live for the first time last month on June 22.  Going to club fights are not new to her.  Boxing is not new to her and even watching my fights (on my phone/TV) are not new to her.  So, it was a non-event but she was quite the supporter.  We walked into the gym and my opponent was standing at the entrance and her face lights up as she sees me and she looks at Acacia in her supporter shirt and laughs fondly.  She tells the girl across from her that I am her opponent and the girl kinda half giggles but looks at us weirdly as we exchange the how do you dos and very genuinely at that.  I tell said girl that Kate and I are old friends, third time facing off in the ring and we check in with one another from time to time – “how’s your weight, wanna fight”.  Poor girl was left a little baffled.

Showing mommy support!

While we were waiting for the doctor after weigh ins, I look around and see 8 girls.  What I’m thinking comes out loud and clear – “we’re all fighting tonight?” and as they turn and look at me and nod in unison, I see one or 2 of them get me including my opponent.  They nod and smile.  I go on to say how cool that is to see – not everyone is up for my girl power moment but I get it, getting your mind right for a fight is part of it.  Four female bouts on a card of 9 fights to me was pretty dope, so I said it.

As I’m changing in the washrooms shortly after being cleared by doc I just found a spot by the hand basins.  Couple of ladies in line and fighters wished me good luck and I do the them the same.  After my fight, in the same spot changing again, a girl I’ve never met before came to congratulate me on the win and went on to say that she’s seen all three of my fights I fought at this particular gym – including the win I did not get back in 2016 – said she was so happy to see me walk in because she finds all my fights very entertaining and that it’s very motivating and encouraging for women and girls to watch.  My heart smiled, literally.  We shoot the shit a minute or two more and all the while I’m beaming inside with pride – also partly because of the win I just got.  All the hard work, hours upon hours of continuous learning and growth and to hear someone say it in such a simple way was priceless.  I make a mental note to do more of just letting people know I think they’re dope AF and not just those I know.

A different perspective:  It’s the Monday of fight week and I have an 8 AM job interview.  The night before the interview, my friend, fellow boxer, motivational speaker and warrior goddess extraordinaire posts a little promotional clip on Facebook about her business and it includes some clips of here speaking about “swagger” and I mentally lost it, in a good way.  This was my third time interviewing at said company and something clicked inside.  Previous times I ended up in top 2 but didn’t get it – for legit reasons.  My head at this point is also already en-route to the ring in 4 days and I tell myself out loud before leaving for the interview – it’s a title fight, go get it.  Did I ever.  I walked out of there and I knew it was mine.  Two days later, second interview and two days after that I’m taking $ with HR.  On fight night I didn’t officially know that I had the job but my friend was there and I told her she was my fucking hero!  Small things right?  Sometimes we uplift and empower one another without even trying.  That’s gangsta!

Leslie and I on International Women’s Day earlier this year!

Point is, it’s a small world out there and maybe Kate and I are older/matured but there is no need or shouldn’t be any need for anything but camaraderie.  Women’s boxing is on the rise in my opinion and while my younger peers in the sport may have more opportunities as there are no restrictions other than weight for them for the most part, it’s still a small circle.   In sports and in life we should lift one another up and yes, I get that it’s still a competitive sport with only one person taking the W and sometimes there are legit controversial decisions BUT, I still maintain that if you put in everything you needed to, regardless of the outcome, you should have a good experience and you leave it all in the ring, on the field, in the boardroom…you feel me?

Leaving it all in the ring – 46 (Red) and 53 (Blue) never looked this damn good!

To circle back real quick, as I walked out to the ring that same night, my friends and the crowd are cheering and I high five a few folks on the way out but  I don’t see my child.  I see hubby, recording the fight as always but not her.  I’m not worried but I wanted to be able to see her reaction.  Ref calls us, explains the rules, we touch gloves and I go back to my corner.  Still nothing.  I finish the first round – a good one too – and while in the corner, with Virgil coaching I see her out of my peripheral view at the officials table and in my mind I’m thinking “of course you’re sitting there, where else would you be…..damn, I bet they’re giving her candy” and I laugh at myself.  My sweet child came to let me know a while after that she only ate 2 jube jubes at the table.  Insert LOL here – #mommingneverstops

My little cheer squad. Ride or dies.

I’m not naive, no really, I’m not.  I know not all women are on the empowering one another train….yet.  They will get there though.  Only good comes from it.  Cheer your bestie on.  Cheer a stranger on.  It costs $0!