Do what you must. Do it with a purpose and on purpose!

“Do what you must” or as we used to say growing up in Cape Town: “DALA” what you must”.  This, is where I’m at.

Dala (dah-lah):  as per Urban Dictionary is a Zulu word which means to cause, do or create.  It’s a tricky one because it can have more than one meaning. It could mean ‘fight’, ‘to kiss’ or ‘to do’. The most common phrase used is “dala what you must” which means “do what you must”.

Cape Town has its own, unique language.  Specifically, the Cape Flats.  I would like to say a mash-up of English & Afrikaans but with 11 official languages and many more indigenous dialects, who’s to say?  Historians say that there’s a strong Malay influence too.  Here’s an article if you have time read up in a little more.  It digs into the origin and more.  Regardless, this is the language that we’re born with and will depart the earth with.

I’ve given a lot of thought to 2021 my goals.  I’ve been a silent about it and staying away from the “new year, new me” train.  Last year was about doing what I had to do given the circumstances and to survive but this year, it’s about doing what I must to create my own circumstances.  Read that again.

2020:  A solid foundation was laid and now it’s time to build on that and continue to rise up!

2020 was not kind to us.  All of us.  To different degrees and sometimes in waves.  That said, we have learnt, we have persevered, we have fought, shouted, cried and we’re still here.  We are still going and if we’re still moving and pushing forward, we’re living.

I’ve given you a bit of context and we’ve established that “dala what you must” has many layers.  Choosing this very specific phrase is taking something from my past and something that is rooted deep down and applying it to my life today.  This is the plan.  Why?

I’ve been in Canada almost 19 years made a life here with my family.  I became a citizen and celebrate all the holidays very patriotically because I’m grateful.  I do know my life would be very different if we didn’t make the big trek.  That said, Cape Town runs in my veins.  I mean deep in there and it will never go away.  I also think it’s a fire that we are born with.  When I visit, it’s the thing that grounds me and makes me appreciate all I have and reminds me to appreciate ME.   It’s the thing that drives me to be better.  I’ve always done it I suppose but I’m giving it a name and THAT translates to accountability.

True story/side note – when your Canadian born child who is part Jamaican, part Trinidadian with a questionable Latino influence can understand and is getting better at speaking “Kaaps” and who can turn on an accent – you know it’s alive and well in my home.  For context for any new readers, my daughter is eight years old and we adopted her at 18 months.

We’re into 2021.  Some of us into a groove or routine and others still feeling like we’ve just turned the 2020 corner and it’s the same on the other side.  I’m somewhere in the middle depending on the area in my life but regardless, I’m here and for me, the phrase means just that.  Doing what I must and doing it on purpose and most of all, with a purpose, which ties back to “dala what you must”.

Now, in order to do this, I have learnt to focus my energy and attention on what matters most in my life and knowing the difference between what garners my precious time and what doesn’t.

A big lesson I took from 2020 is that I can’t fix things I didn’t break.  Furthermore, I should stop trying to do so.  I can have the feelings, the thoughts and work through stages of loss and so on but I’ve been working hard on stepping away from things I didn’t break.  This realization has given me so much liberation and freedom and, not to mention the time and headspace on where to focus my energy.  It’s given me the power to say NO without explanation but also to say THANK YOU when paid a compliment and leave it there.  The boldness to not feel the need to respond to every issue or comment that comes at me. The maturity to walk away and even bigger, to let people walk away.  I’m allowed.  They’re allowed.

I’m sure ya’ll can relate on some level.

So, let me ask this: “what’s your 2021 looking like so far”?  If you made those big goals or resolutions, great.  If you didn’t, great.  If you feel like you’re still stuck in 2020 or it just feels like a continuation, great!  Point is – this is the year we need to do us.  We need to do the things that make us happy.  Do the things we want to do vs feeling pressured to do it.  If it doesn’t serve you anymore, walk away or cut it out.  You’re allowed.  Say “no” and stop there.  You don’t have to explain or owe anyone an explanation.  All of this – regardless of your history with person, company or situation – is truth!

I can’t sign off without giving a shout out to Vannie Kaap.  They took the phrase and went deep with it.  I stumbled on their podcast doing some research to make sure I had all my facts straight for this post – I mean, I have been away for 19 years.  The podcast talks about our history and I mean the way history should have been taught to us in school.  Not the watered-down version and not the version that removes our ancestral forefathers and mothers and the great things they were doing before, during and after colonization.  It’s funny, raw, real, educational and motivational all at the same time.  Saying I’m a little obsessed would be an understatement. Click the links I provided or find them on Spotify and iTunes.

I went in a few directions with this one, but they all lead to the fact that my work is cut out for me this year.  DALA/Do what I must but not just stop there.

Do it on purpose and with a purpose