STEP ASIDE AND LET YOURSELF GO GET IT!

Have you ever wanted to try something new or do something totally badass and immediately dismiss it or come up with an excuse?  Me too!

For me it was starting my blog a few years ago.  Before that it was saying yes to my first fight.  I was told by family members that the women in our family typically had bad knees so running was not an option.  There were jobs that came up that I thought I wasn’t good enough for or “ready” for.  Then the big one was taking the leap and getting out of a job that I thought was my dream job when I took it and out of pride, I held on to that for almost two years.

We all have something – an excuse, even a sound reason, an obstacle or we give up before we even tried but fact is, there will ALWAYS be something.  I was well into my adulthood when I busted out and became a little more confident and started believing that I could do whatever I put my mind to.  Many issues attributed to not feeling that way before – growing up in post-apartheid South Africa working with and managing people who didn’t think I was “the right” person a.k.a. “the right colour” for the job as well as poor body image were two of the big contributors for me.

For this piece I’ll unpack the first one because once I saw that I could, I soared.  At 22 I was hired by a very prestigious salon/spa which I didn’t think I was good enough for to begin with.  Started as receptionist and after a very short while was given many additional responsibilities and more money.  Probably way more work than I was experienced for, but the woman who hired me believed in learning while doing and being compensated for it.  Go figure right??  She would later tell me that she knew after a week that if she didn’t keep me challenged, I’d leave, and she didn’t want that.  I stayed for five and a half years before coming to Canada and it ended well.  I left with so many good friends, experience running a multi-million-dollar business plus managing about 20 staff – hairstylists, apprentices and part-time staff.

The first year there though, was hell.  A few of her long-time staff didn’t want me there and they made it known.  Geez, to my face as well as behind my back.  If it wasn’t for my boss (and some of the other good people there) who kept pushing me, supporting me and making it clear to all staff that I was there to stay, I probably would have quit – and ya’ll know I wouldn’t have left quietly either lol.  Instead, with her coaching and mentoring, I learnt how to hold my own, ran meetings where I was heard and earned the respect of everyone, even the ones I didn’t care for.  I really was good at what I was doing and loved it.  It was hard work without a doubt and on top of that, shortly after I took the job, I enrolled into college to study marketing and public relations part time.  Whew!

Looking back, I think the thing that set me apart or made me shine was that I was determined to learn their business and be better than them at it.  I succeeded.  I surpassed even my own expectations.  After that, they adored me.  It felt good but a part of me always thought “fuck you all”!  I mean, they couldn’t accept me when I was just being me and being a nice human.  You know?

In that establishment it also solidified for me that people of colour had to work twice as hard to get the same recognition and respect that our white counterparts do.  From peers to vendors to customers, mostly customers.  And not just me, every POC who was hired had to prove something to someone or some group.  I was told this many times growing up but when I lived it, it hit different.  One thing though, when I left there, I was ready to take on Canada and whole damn world!

Point of sharing the above is what I started off with.  There will always obstacles and it’s up to us to choose whether to walk away or push through them.  I’m a pusher by nature but I BELIEVED I could which was my biggest driver in that role and the other things I later took on.  Won’t lie, sometimes it took a while for me to take the leap/plunge.  We have to decide what is worth it, is it serving us and most of all, are we happy?  In this role, I needed the job, but I also knew that learning everything that went along with running such a successful business would help me down the line and it absolutely did, in a plethora of different ways!  Did I mention I ran all the black-tie charity balls with her as well, which led to my love for marketing and events?  I mean, your girl has since gone on to win marketing awards in a few different categories which I will forever be proud of.

I have since ran more 5, 10 and even 15km’s than I can count and have 2 half marathons I can boast about – so much for bad knees huh?  My boxing record is currently 9-2 so it makes me wonder why I hesitated.  All the roles I thought I wasn’t good enough for I eventually applied for.  Some I got and others were lessons learnt.  That’s how it goes and oh, that “dream job” – the day I handed in my resignation was the day I knew my life was going to change, only for the better.

So…

If we are known to be our biggest critics and the biggest thing standing in our own way, then in theory it’s a no brainer correct?  Get out of our own way.  That’s it!  Easier said than done – I know!  But I’ll tell you this, once you start and start seeing the results of your badassery – whatever that looks like – you’re not going to stop.  That BELIEF of “I CAN” needs to be nurtured and fed, just like an athlete training for competition.  Be consistent in your quest to excel, to be happy and to try new things.  Sometimes it will take time for you to get out of your own way.  I’m a firm believer in things happening for a reason and that they will happen when the time is right.  You’ll know.

There will always be something and we won’t always make the right or best choice all the time.  Sometimes we’ll need to course correct and that’s ok.  NEWSFLASH:  We are going to stumble and fall at points throughout our lives but we’re going to dance and celebrate even more!

Living in the world today is not easy.  It takes energy just to be, add daily life into the equation and whether you’re single, married, have kids, we all must live life and we all have our own “stuff”.  Just remember, step aside and let yourself go for it!