CHRISTMAS 2021: ‘TIS THE SEASON TO BE KIND TO OTHERS & TO OURSELVES

Good intentions and even better, actions speak louder than words.

‘Tis the season once again and a reminder to us all to remember the real reason for this season.  Family, health, gratitude, mental wellness…keep filling in your own blanks.  Gift giving is tradition and I love giving as well as receiving but, in my opinion, that’s the bonus.  The real gift(s) are around us.  I’m thankful for mine everyday and being an “actions speak louder than words” kinda gal, I like to make sure they know it day to day.  I believe that showing someone you love, care or support them speaks volumes.

Earlier this week I prepped lunch for my daughter.  Nothing fancy but one of her favourites, grilled cheese.  I added more of her special things and set up a nice spread for her – drinking yogurt, chocolate milk, a cookie and a few Doritos and of course ketchup to dip.  Keep in mind she doesn’t get these types of treats in one meal so when she came downstairs her reaction melted my heart!  “Mummy, is this all mine?  Why?  All my favourite things!”  I just told her how awesome she was and to enjoy.  Little things, right?

This Christmas we’re back to COVID-19 restrictions and we’re watching numbers rise daily.  I feel another lockdown coming and I’m mentally preparing for no in person school after the holidays as well.  Emotions are running high overall and both aware of others and self-aware.  I am definitely a little more anxious these days but doing my due diligence to stay safe to keep those around me safe.  Not all my family members will be together on Christmas (and I guess for my birthday coming up next week) due to a positive test but I’m grateful that everyone is fine, just needing to quarantine.  Yes, it sucks but we can make it up.  Celebrate with another feast when we’re able to.  PS – I’ll be 50 for 365 days so lots of opportunity for cake and bubbly.

As this news of a positive test came yesterday, I realized that many families are going through the same.  Many families are also going through worse.  This pandemic has been tragic for many.  Families are mourning those they have lost, and they may be preparing to go through their first holiday season without a loved one OR preparing for their last time with another.  The holidays can be a sad time for many regardless of Covid and so this just adds another layer to already fragile states of mental health.  This is the sad part for me.

I realize my tone here may be a little morbid but regardless of perception, it’s our reality and we’re here.  So, what do we do?

1. Focus on what is in our control. Some of our holiday plans are not going to go as we wished and it’s shitty.  We have the right to say it, feel it and let it out but in turn, respect those having feels even if we’re not bothered by it.  Don’t let that ruin what is still in front of you though.  Make the most of the things/events that are in your control and don’t let those moments slip away.  

2. Be kind to others – you don’t know everyone’s situation. Christmas Eve I always miss Cape Town, for many reasons.  So many good memories in my late in-law’s home and so for me it’s always a few days of self-coaching and navigating through some deep feels leading up to Christmas.  I focus on the fun memories, and it works.  I make sure we talk about them and bring up the funny stories and so on.  That said, yesterday I was triggered by some comments made to me that came a little out of left field and felt like low blows.  These wouldn’t bother me otherwise but being in my feelings, it stung, and I felt so much hurt in my heart. My self-doubt kicked in and my mind started spinning.  Replaying what had brought on these comments and wondering if I really am as bad as some people make me out to be.  Yup, I went to bed dark and heavy.  It happens.

3. Be kind to yourself and remember, if you have good intentions, you are not responsible for anyone’s feelings. I woke up lighter today despite the heavy way I went to rest last night the day got better indeed.  My intentions are always good, so I am at peace.  The comments did not come from the source so I’m not going to beat myself about it and in turn put that on to my family.  PS – we had all the vibes happening in the kitchen today.  Baking, music, laughing and reminiscing so I have a full heart!

4. Rest, laugh and let go a little. Take time for you.  A little extra self-care will go a long way I promise – whatever that means to you.  Movement and fresh air does wonders for the mind and body so do some of that.  It’s therapeutic and it’s needed.

5. Express gratitude. To loop back to point number one.  Focus on what IS here and show gratitude for that.  I am grateful to be here another year and that I can share good food and raise a glass with more people than we could last year.  Good company + good food = a great time.

I know we’re not in an ideal state and we probably won’t be for a while but it’s where we are.  Focus on what is good.  There’s a quote that goes “focus on the good and the good gets better” – ok, ok, I’m sure there are different versions of it but none the less, I’m thankful.

There are many more little things we can do to spread cheer during this holiday season.  They don’t even have to be big gifts or gestures.  Sometimes it’s the little things.  Someone I’ve gotten to know over this year over social sent me a heartfelt Christmas message and she made my morning.  This week I’ve seen our homemade Christmas cookies make a few folks really happy and in turn, it made my day too.  That’s how it works so let’s keep that happy chain going.

Merry Christmas to you and yours from me and mine.

A cute throwback – Merry Christmas