CHANGE YOUR MINDSET, CHANGE THE GAME: BLOCKING OUT THE NOISE

Not everyone you meet or have in your life will be cheering for you and you should be ok with that.

BUT, when you find them, hold on tight!

The real ones will surface in THE most unusual and pleasantly surprising ways and those are the ones who are meant to be there.  The rest will eventually show their true colours or somehow be miraculously removed from your circle.

Things always work out the way they’re supposed to work out.

I recently saw a video where a creator was nervously filming herself folding clothing and people in the room (who were not on camera but could be heard in the background) with her asked “why are you filming yourself” to which she replied, “I want to become vlogger” and her “friends” burst into laughter and proceeded to really hate on her or her idea.  I gave her an instant follow, liked the post and reposted it and THAT is what happens more often than we think – strangers supporting our business more than the people we think will.

Starting this blog back in 2017 was my first lesson and it’s the only time it hurt, and I vowed that it would be the only time.  I took it personally.

So, I had this great idea.   The goal was to help others through my storytelling.  In my mind this little blog was going blow up fast – because I had a huge network of “friends”.  To my disappointment, that did not happen, although some folks were very honest:

“I get too much spam”

“it’s way too much reading for me”

and “oh, was that you who sent that, I blocked it because I figured it was junk mail?”

I was hurt and it was that deep hurt but at the same time, the ones who did support me did so and are still doing so with their whole heart.  For them, I am grateful.  I felt my feels but focused on the ones who were there.  I kept going and the comments above (and their owners) have fizzled their way out of my life slowly but surely.  Negativity removed and I continued because I believed in what I was doing and that was enough.

I went on to launch Strong Is My Beautiful™ and the same was repeated.  This time I was prepared for the support as well as the lack thereof, but I also had zero expectations.  I believed in my brand and what she stood for and that was what mattered.  I still feel the same.  I wasn’t going to be for everyone, and I was ok with it.  I’d made the commitment to keep my head down, block out the noise and do me.  My mindset had shifted, and the support came first from the existing tribe but also from the most surprising places.   Strangers!

I’m still here and not planning to leave anytime soon!

There were many lessons but here’s what I learnt from the first blog launch:

1. Not everyone is clapping for you, and you must be okay with it.
2. Support will come from strangers more often than you think.
3. You/your content will not be for everyone.

And to follow up, here’s what I did differently the second time I had a big idea:

1. I was the only one I needed to be good enough for.
2. No expectations, no disappointments.
3. Keep going and your tribe will find you.

These are the easy ones, but I had to dig a little deeper, so I tapped into the mindset aspect of “toughing it out”.  My fighter mindset.  Small business ownership can be lonely (just like boxing), and you need to have or build a strong mind to go along with that determination and drive inside you.  We all have it:

Remembering or reflecting on my “WHY” because it’s so easy to get distracted.  Back in my corporate days when I was stuck with a project or it wasn’t moving forward for some reason, I’d always go back to the objective, the goal, and ultimately the WHY.  My first fight was a fundraiser for the Fight to End Cancer and on the hard training days I remembered who I was fighting for!

Take nothing personally and I also remind myself; it’s (almost) always not about me.  If I took every rejection or bad comment and even constructive feedback personally, I would have quit by now – and Fabings don’t quit!

Embracing my network of people who do support me.  The real ones will stick around and show up for you when you least expect it.  Remember, support comes in many forms – a purchase, booking a training session, but also, sharing & engaging on a social post and most of all, mentioning you in the company they keep.  Every bit counts.

Block out the noise is my favourite.  There are so many outside influences, unsolicited advice and trends coming at us from all directions.  New ideas, orders, bookings and referrals are what keeps me focused and I’ve found some tools to ground myself when there’s too much going on.  Walking, shadow boxing, reading, journaling and cooking are some of my therapeutic tips, but you have to find yours!

I wish you an amazing journey to whatever your goal or destination is.  It’s a process that sometimes requires a little grit and some sass and always remember – if you don’t believe in what you’re selling or offering how can you expect people to support you?

Stay fierce, stay strong & stay beautiful!